“A strong person cannot help a weak person unless they want to be helped; even then, the weak person must work to become stronger. By your own efforts, you must develop in yourself the qualities you admire in others.“ James Allen
Recently, I was helping out a woman friend with a household project. While we were working, I said “you know, this is almost a Princess Fiona thing. Where is your man?” She then went on to tell me that they had broken up. Of course, I inquired about what happened. She told me about how frustrated, angry, upset, and confused she was about the breakup. She told me that he basically really didn’t have a good reason for it.
From my perspective, this is a high quality, smart, confident, attractive, sexual woman that wants nothing more to be loved and desired. Of course she is not perfect, who is? But, she’s definitely up there in terms of good woman-ness. So, I asked questions about why this man would break up with her and, of course, I keep in mind that there are always 2 sides to every story.
As she continued to describe their breakup, I keyed in on one particular thing that he said to her. He said “I don’t know why you are even with me.” as he continued to self-depreciate. These are 9 words that sum up his entire mode of operation.
“I don’t know why you are even with me.”
These are words spoken by an insecure, fearful, low esteem, low value, inferior feeling, ashamed man. He is a “victim”. I don’t mean that to be an attack or to put him down. He is actually a good dude. It is simply a view into his mindset. This isn’t about what the world sees in him, but rather, what he sees in himself. He is a victim of his own thoughts. Nothing else. Your mind is a very powerful tool, and without proper guidance and purposeful development, it is all too common to let the negative, self-depreciating, low value thoughts overtake our lives and our behaviors.
Think about it this way, from an attraction standpoint, does saying “I don’t know why you are even with me” sound like a statement that is going to create attraction in your wife or girlfriend toward you? Does that sound like a confident, strong, courageous, rock of man that believes in himself? Does that sound like a man that considers himself the prize?
Time and time again, when women are asked what they find most attractive, over and over again they say “confidence.” Does making a statement questioning why a woman would want to be with you sound like confidence? Or does that sound like a man that wants his woman to babysit his feelings? No woman wants to be your mommy. No woman wants to be your babysitter. Instead, she wants to be able to open her emotions to YOU, knowing that you can confidently handle her. She wants YOU to be a high-value, superior, unafraid, secure MAN that can lead her to a fun, interesting, romantic, exciting interaction. She wants to be the lucky one. Even if you are an incredibly good looking male model that does can perfectly execute blue steel, with a low value, inferior mindset, eventually she will not be able to stand you. I told her that a breakup was inevitable. At some point, she was going to get overwhelmed with taking care of his emotions, to which she agreed. Unfortunately she became collateral damage to his way of operating.
Do you sometimes feel that you are not good enough for your lady? Do you sometimes feel that you are inferior to the other men around you? Do you worry about what your girlfriend or wife might do with another guy? Are you concerned with how she might be thinking about someone else? Maybe you worry about what she might do, which could cause a series of cataclysmic events to follow like divorce, splitting up the kids, financial difficulty, or being alone. Well, your mind is lying to you. Why did this guy break up with my friend? Because he felt he does not deserve her. He felt that she was higher value than he. What you BELIEVE is true.
I suggest you eliminate such thoughts now and forevermore in your mind and focus on only the thoughts that generate valuable, useful thoughts that life you up.