I was having a non-work conversation with a co-worker last week. We kicked around some BBQ talk and discussed the intricacies of dry rub, then he said it –
“My wife said I could buy a new grill.”
I smirked and squirmed and winced and coughed and then I said “I’m sorry” as if I didn’t hear him. He repeated it and I said “I heard you I’m just sorry.” He looked at me with a stare of curiosity and bewilderment. He then seriously asked my why I was sorry. So the conversation shifted. If you have read any of my articles here, you understand my response.
I did my best to explain to him that his wife is not the one he needs permission from to buy a new grill. And she doesn’t want to be the one with that much power over him. Now, perhaps I should add that making a large purchase like a grill should be discussed with your wife and, I’ll go as far as to say that rules should already be in place regarding spending. In the same breath, if your wife wanted to get $1000 worth of botox injected in to her face, that should also be discussed. Both of these conversations amount to negotiation of an acceptable deal for both man and wife. And if an acceptable deal for both cannot be reached, it should not be completed. A man does not need permission from his wife to make a purchase. He offers consideration to his partner and works out the details to move forward.
Did YOU get my drift from this conversation? As you can deduct, he did not. Do you see the mindset? You might say that it is really semantics or I am splitting hairs. And I would say – “is it?”. From my view of the world, a man’s words are reflective of how he sees himself. From my view of the world, this is a glimpse into the mindset of a man that has been brainwashed to the ways of the feminist empowerment man-woman relationship dynamic.
You might make the argument that the wife is in charge of the finances and bank accounts for the household and I would say that is a whole different article in itself. Here is a well educated, upper-middle class, good looking, smart, successful guy who has willingly allowed his wife to give him permission to do something. In this case, buy a new grill. He has made his wife his boss. She put herself in that position no more than he relegated himself there. He put his wife over himself voluntarily and made himself a subordinate or employee.
Let’s look at it from a different angle. Which man do you think a woman finds more attractive –
The guy she gave “permission”?
The man that clearly states what he wants, negotiates a win-win with his equal partner in life to procure something new, and then makes it happen per the agreement?
It is a simple and, yet difficult, mindset shift to be your own man whose only boss is God. It is difficult because it is not a mind shift to be a dictator asshole, but rather, to be a mindful, compassionate, considerate leader that creates opportunities and environments for those in his circle to thrive. Everyone else is either a contributor to your life – and you theirs – or they are not in your life.