As you think, so you are. As you are, so you act. As you act, so you attract.adapted from Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last night, as my wife was coming to bed, she took off her work shirt and bra and began putting on a jammy top. In the brief period of time she was topless, and I stared at her very womanly and feminine back turned toward me, I shamelessly and fearlessly said “don’t bother, just come to bed like that” with the full intention of seducing and sexing her later.
To the untrained eye, that scene may have looked like a cocky asshole just being a misogynist pig, but I assure you it was anything but. In order to be a misogynist, I would have to believe that my wife is somehow less of a person then me because she is a woman. I would have to believe that she is incapable of certain things because of her gender. I would have to marginalize and objectify her existence. I would have to believe that she was created with less value or less purpose because she is a woman. I can assure you my wife is an absolutely capable, incredible, valuable, wonderful woman that was created just as equally as any other human on this planet.
And I can assure you that she is also a human which means she has insecurities and limiting beliefs about herself; Some that I don’t even know. I can also assure you that my wife craves to feel sexy, desirable, attractive and valuable. She craves to feel that to a man. A man need look no further than the countless hours his woman spends in front of the mirror putting on makeup. I make myself that man. So, I do what I can to give her what she craves. She wants those feelings created inside her by a confident man that can unabashedly help her feel that.
She wants these feelings and the only way to confidently give her those feelings is to be bold, direct, honest, and sexual. So, my remark is not about being a male chauvinist, it is about having the confidence to make her FEEL sexy and lead her. It is about being the confident and slightly cocky man you are AFRAID to be.
Why do I say that you are afraid to be the man she wants?
I had a conversation today with another man about confidence. I told him what I said to my wife. He told me that if he said that to his girlfriend, she would slap him. Maybe. Maybe not. She might just come to bed without a shirt with a desire to be desired. But if you never ACT boldly, then you will never know AND you will never be the man capable of pulling out her sexuality and desires. You will NEVER be the man she wants to push her against the wall and take her. You will continue to be the boring, good boy vanilla that will never truly satisfy what she craves. His belief that she would slap him if he said what I said is a limiting belief that is literally robbing both of them of their true desire.
She wants the man you are afraid to be so she can be the woman she is afraid to be. This is her bad boy. The leader has to go first to show her it is safe.
I recently read a post on the SoSuave forum about the danger of assumptions. Has the man above made an assumption (limiting belief) about his girlfriend that is untrue? Is his assumption actually creating a roadblock for him to be able to create exactly what he and his girlfriend both want? What other assumptions in life has he made that limits his potential?